The Skeptical Loser

Is there anybody in there?

221.3

Slow but steady…

218(.0)

I’m only down about half a pound, but I’m not too concerned about it. My pants aren’t quite as tight this week. My diet was flawless, I stuck to my calories every day and didn’t need a cheat day. I munch while I cook but stick with the veggies. Dinners are great–home-cooked healthy meals every night except for one night out.

Exercise is going well. I am lifting pretty heavy and am about to run out of weights to squat. I’m saving up for a barbell and power rack to do some of the other Fitocracy quests. I took advantage of an unseasonably warm day and did the first 10 miles of the year on my bike. I’m still following the couch to 5K program and started on week three.

All in all I am still highly motivated. I’m noticing a difference with just this short time “back on the wagon”. Things that were leaving me winded and sweaty are now leaving me slightly less winded and sweaty. Life is good.

The Full Monty

Weight 218 (last week 220)

Are three data points officially a trend yet? I’m on my way back down–I’ve decided to say screw it to the gradual crap and just hit the ground running–literally. I’ve said to myself, “I’ll eat right first, then run, and then lift weights” many times over that last few months. I wind up failing at eating, and never getting to the other things. Well screw that. This week I did everything, ran three times this week, lifted three days this week, and actually stuck to my calories. If I fail at one thing in the next few weeks, at least I cover the other two.

The first week is always the easiest. My body chums along, thinking this restriction is only temporary. The easy part doesn’t last long–the hunger set in tonight. It’s the point where my body realizes what I am doing and suddenly decides to put a stop to it. This is the difficult part of the process. It’s a process I saw the end of last year–but since I decided to gain all my weight back, I need to go through it again.

I have no special calorie restrictions—I’m just eating normally. I do like to dial my caloric intake a bit. I eat enough calories for a sedentary person my weight that wants to lose a pound a week. Then I tack on calories I “earn” through exercise. This ensures I have enough calories to fuel exercise while not overdoing it on my “off” days. It also keeps my body guessing—I don’t have anything other than anecdotal evidence, but varying calories per day seems to work for me.

What is the method you find works for you?

Week ?: Enough with the week numbers!

Weight: 223

So fat. Pants are too tight and biting into the fat–I put on sweats as much as I can. Going up stairs makes me breath heavy again. I dropped a bike ride I was supposed to go on because I was embarrassed by how big I am. I’m again tugging at my shirt bottom because I’m afraid my belly is showing. I saw my reflection in the computer and really hoped my shirt was lumpy–nope, those are man boobs. My heartburn never really goes away, and I have to sleep constantly propped up or wake up 20 minutes later with bile in my throat. According to Mrs. Shawmutt I’m snoring so loud in the living room she can’t sleep in the bedroom.

Today I actually stuck to my calories, so that’s the only good thing to report. In short, this really sucks.

Week 60: Limbo has a lot of calories

Weight 220

Yuck. I’m just disgusting. Everything hurts. Heartburn is a constant companion. My clothes are stretched to their limit. I get one or two good days, and then undo it with large binges.

Exercise wise I’m also going on binges. I have large bicycle rides, 40 miles or more, once a month. Then I sit around the rest of the month. I did one race, the Zombie 5k, and then stopped.

My only goal at this point is to have a good day tomorrow.

Week 53: Over the Year

Weight 211.

It’s so strange to look at where I was 6 months ago and see where I am now. 6 months ago it was all optimism, I was going to hit my goal weight and stay there. Then I gained it all back. Now I’m struggling to even find the motivation to continue.

These last couple weeks were a mixed bag. On the one hand I did some great exercise, biking over 41 miles in a day along with other shorter rides. I signed up with a “100+ mile club”, and have completed On the other hand my attitude with my dieting was a giant screw it. Issues at home, issues at work, issues with my body–I just succumbed to the negativity and let food be my medicine. Hopefully a lot of the issues have been resolved and I can get back on track. Today was not a good start to that.

Week 51: Nearly Perfect Eating

Oops, left this one in draft:

Weight: 210

I had one cheat day this week, and that was yesterday. It wasn’t even a cheat day, more of a cheat meal. And by meal, I mean beer–dark, black, evil beer that’s perfect on a rainy autumn evening.

The weather conspires against my hopes for a nice long bike ride. The rain again thwarted my third attempt at a “long ride”. The group of bicyclists I joined is definitely a group of “fair weather” riders. I need to find a group like the bunch of motorcyclists I rode with–I rode with that group in the pouring down rain. Once I get started seriously biking I may just start suggesting rain or shine rides. There has to be more people like me on road bikes.

Other exercise has fallen flat. The only exercise, not counting all the time I’m running around at work, was the brisk walk with the dog last night. I felt guilty about the cheat meal for one and the rolls starting to form on my dog for two. I do not want to be a fat family.

All in all things are going well. Zombies will be eating me in three weeks, but I’ve come to peace with my demise. It will be fun if nothing else. My weight is on the right trend again, and that’s all I really want at this point. Once I get back under 200 I can start running again and get back into sub 29 minute speed by next spring.

Week 50: Different Than My Last Attempt

Weight: 211

I’m not surprised about the weight, but at least it didn’t go up. Cheating definitely is easier now, it’s nothing to justify it. It started with a cheat meal on Thursday, then led to cheat days Friday and Saturday. Beer, the tasty beverage I have grown to love, was the problem this week. Overall, it’s my thriftiness and aversion to waste that has been getting me in trouble. A pitcher of beer is cheaper than a couple of glasses? Bring on the pitcher! You aren’t going to drink the rest of that pitcher? Hand it over! It’s what lead to my downfall when moving to first shift–can’t let that catered food be thrown in the garbage!

I need to learn to be OK with waste. The starving kids in Africa won’t be hurt if I leave a pint of beer in the pitcher. I also need to be OK with spending more money sometimes, a penny saved at the expense of my health isn’t worth it.

Week 49: Back in the Saddle, again?

Weight: 211

I did pretty good this week, cheating only on Sunday. I know that 5 lbs is only a glitch, but it really helps with the motivation. It’s strange, when I’m not paying attention to my calories I eat a lot. When I count all my calories I have trouble hitting the 2200. I think most of my eating is emotional eating.

The 8-10 miles of riding my bike with the kids in tow probably helped a bit too, even though I didn’t exercise much other than doing the ride. This weekend is the big 28-miler, so I’ll just need to see how I do on a “real” ride. Riding on pavement without 70 lbs of kids will be a different experience I’m sure.

Week 48: Anatomy of a Yo-Yo

Weight: 216

Well, I managed to get right back to my starting weight. What happened? The major change was I moved to first shift at my job. There is a lot more food available on first shift. When I was working third shift I had two choices: Superbird with applesauce instead of french-fries at Denny’s or Dragonfire Chicken at TGI Fridays. On first shift, every place is open, from the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet to the Peruvian chicken joint down the street. After seven years of working in the dark, I was in foodie heaven. Furthermore, there’s my career to consider–when the boss says, “Let’s go out for lunch,” I go out for lunch. Then there’s the food made available at every training.

The added stress of a first shift job hit hard too. There is simply more demanded from me, and all the “People That Matter” are there. There’s also the completely different work dynamic. Gone are the days of graveyard shift goodwill. On first shift, eyes are everywhere, and they belong to a bunch of backstabbing folks who pounce on any perceived weakness. I’ve had to rely on memory when counting calories and can’t really use a computer to get online and track my calories on the sites I was using. Fortunately, we’ve been extremely busy at work, so the days of going out to lunch are gone for now–I’m off the hook with the boss. In the long term, I really need to plan for those lunches out. I’ve developed some bad habits over the last couple of months. One was cigar smoking, which isn’t a healthy habit but isn’t a weight gaining one. The second was a nasty king size chocolate bar habit. I never buy one–I buy two every time. That’s around eight hundred extra calories in fat and carbs scarfed down in fifteen minutes or less.

The weight went up surprisingly quickly, and as the weight went up the running got harder and harder. Now my knees really hurt after a run, which is something I haven’t dealt with for months. It’s hard to run with the extra 20 lbs. I had lost. I definitely can’t match my 5K PR in the lousy shape I’m in now. It is very frustrating when I can’t run as fast as I was able to at my lightest. If nothing else, I want this post to be a reminder of how I feel right now. I feel like absolute trash. My thighs are rubbing together again, I jiggle when I walk, and my clothes stretch over my bulk again. Fat hangs over my pants again. A few short months ago I was dressing better and really looking professional at work–now I’m back to jeans and t-shirts because they are all that fits. My acid reflux is back and heartburn is a constant companion.

Therefore, I’m formulating a plan. The first part of the plan is to recalculate my calories, which I did using the fat2fit BMR calculator. I’m modifying it a bit while keeping their philosophy of “eating like the thinner person I want to be”. 2200 calories on days I do no exercise. On the days I exercise, I get a 300-calorie recovery meal. This really is a long-term solution as over the months I notice I have incentive to work out when I get a reward for it.